morfizm (morfizm) wrote,
morfizm
morfizm

Making software is a lot like sex

*) Initial acquaintance: learning about project requirements.

*) Flirting: sketching design, discussing design.

*) Foreplay: prototyping solutions.

*) Actual sex part: implementation and testing.

*) Hardcore pre-cum part: rolling things out to production, scaling them up and fixing bugs.

*) Orgasms: each successful production roll-out counts as an orgasm. Multiple orgasms are possible if things are rolled out in waves, or to multiple regions, each having their own challenges. Separate sexual acts needed to implement region-specific solutions. They come in rapid succession one after another, after the long main sex session when the core solution is developed.

*) Post-sex: polishing, catch-up and fit and finish. This is when additional metrics and dashboards are implemented, and minor improvements are made. It's like lying together after sex, massaging partner's back or rubbing hair, while smiling at each other in pleasure. An initial acquaintance and foreplay with the new project usually begins in parallel to these post-sex activities.
Tags: in english, man-woman, software development
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